How to get noticed & liked!
Did you know that you can improve someone's impression of you simply by being in their presence more often? This is known as the mere exposure effect—repeated exposure to a stimulus (object or person) leads to greater liking of the stimulus. This means that you should go out of your way to make your existence known to them, in a socially acceptable manner, of course.
You can also be intentional about winning someone over. Although there are many ways, these two routes are highly effective.
First, you can try being a very persuasive person! Sometimes, it helps to think of a romantic pursuit as a sales pitch, and the product you're advertising is yourself!
Below is a diagram I'm proud of creating. Shop for any elements of persuasion that you think you can incorporate into your dating game.
Here are some examples:
- certainty as a source characteristic is really persuasive! This is why many people will say confidence is attractive. If you confidently approach someone, compliment them, and ask them out on a date, you have a higher chance of securing that date as opposed to stuttering and nervously looking around while doing it.
- mood as an audience characteristic is also really important to consider. Make sure you're not approaching someone who looks anxious and stressed about whatever they're going through. The setting is a factor too. If you're approaching someone in a bar with romantic music playing in the background that's setting a flirty mood, they're more likely to agree to your offer to dance!
- CAUTION: DO NOT consider fear (message characteristic) and age (audience characteristic)—please do not be threatening people to go out with you nor going after children just because they are more persuadable
Here's something else you should try, even though you should already be doing this without ulterior motives: prosocial behavior—things you do for others without regard to consequences for oneself. Social reward is one of the motivations for altruism because those who engage in prosocial behavior can earn praise, positive attention, gratitude, AND make you more attractive! Being altruistic signals to a potential partner that you are cooperative, empathetic, and will likely be a good partner to them.
Blogger's Friends Weigh In!
Survey Question: How often does knowing someone is a good person increase their attractiveness (good is subjective & up to you)?
23 Total Responses:
- Always: 56.5%
- Often: 39.1%
- Rarely: 4.3%
- Never: 0%
Survey Question: What is the biggest "green flag" in your opinion?
Relevant Responses:
- "a good person with morals"
- "being genuine and kind"
- "being a good person"
- "kindness" x2
Survey Question (For Singles): What are some traits you look for in people when evaluating them for romantic potential?
Relevant Responses:
- "kind/kindness" x3
Blogger's Playlist
- Somebody Good by Stacey Ryan
Chapters covered:
- Chapter 9 (mere exposure effect)
- Chapter 7 (elements to persuasion)
- Chapter 14 (altruism/prosocial behavior)